Seedbed Part 3

My Divorce

I got divorced this afternoon. What did you do today? I am posting this not to be dramatic or to air dirty laundry but because a number of people have asked about it. A facebook post is way easier than individual replies. And for those of you who were unaware…well here’s a mother of a status update.
I never understood the pain of divorce until experiencing it for myself. Now I find myself doing weird shit like crying when I read about Heidi and Seal’s marriage woes. Seriously, who the f@#$ does that? Me apparently. Lots of you haven’t experienced divorce. I hope you never do. However, statistics say otherwise. Let me see if I can convey some sense of what it is like. Divorce triggers the same neurological response as death. And why shouldn’t it? You lose your spouse—your lover and best friend. Sometimes you lose your spouse’s friends, your family on your spouse’s side, and your family loses your spouse and his or her family. You lose the future you were building. You lose the past you cherished. As you try and figure out when and where things went wrong all past moments become suspect and subject to new darker interpretations. The loss is deep and wide in scope. The good news is that I have not become jaded about marriage. I still believe in it and I am genuinely excited when I hear about other people’s engagements. Continue reading